Even Stevens

Ren is ecstatic when she finds out that her braces will come off in the morning before her 8th grade school picture will be taken. When the dentist removes them, he says she has a slight infection and gives her some oral medication which has ""mild side effects."" Ren looks great and rushes to school to get her picture taken. The disinterested photographer doesn't tell her that her cheeks are now grossly swollen. In the halls everyone stares and laughs at Ren. Louis shows his sister a mirror; Ren is horrified. She chases down the departing photographer, Mr. Krapezi, but he says there will be no reshoot unless the principal authorizes payment. Ren is sure Principal Wexler will do it for her, but by the time she sees him, the swelling has gone down and he won't consider it. At home, Louis brings in the horrible yearbook photo that's arrived in the mail. Ren's mom tells her how she led a protest for women's studies in college and suggests Ren could do the same. Ren organizes a demonstration

Eileen Stevens is throwing a fancy dinner catered by French chef Pierre for the Lieutenant Governor Woods and his wife Dottie during which she hopes to persuade him to help pass her family care bill. Ren is angry with Louis, though, because the kids must eat take-out food in the back yard because Louis has been such an embarrassing slob at previous dinners. Louis steals food from the kitchen, infuriating the chef. A duck shows up in the Stevens' back yard, and Louis names him ""Seymour."" When Chef Pierre comes out in the yard looking for his ""canard"" to be served as the main course, the Stevens kids refuse to give up Seymour. The chef leaves the house in a huff. The hungry Lt. Governor doesn't want to talk politics before eating. Louis whips up some appetizers made mostly out of candy, but the Lt. Governor and his wife think they're Chef Pierre's creations and say they are wonderful. Donnie goes out on a desperate search for duck but can't find any until he comes upon the ""Bucket O' Duc

Louis and Twitty are desperate to find the new ultra-cool ""Quasi"" sneakers, but they are sold out everywhere. Tom puts them in contact with his underground source, though, and they set up a meeting with ""Scabbie"" at South Creek Mall. Meanwhile, Ren is leading (naturally) a fund-raising meeting for the school paper. Ruby proposes a fashion show at the Mall, an idea everyone likes better than Ren's, including, surprisingly, Ren's devoted disciples Carla and Marla. Soon everyone is neglecting work on the paper and working on the fashion show. Ren gets upset and Ruby accuses her of being mad because the show wasn't her idea, which seems to be true. Ren angrily insists she'll put out the paper by herself. Louis and Twitty take a scary trip through the mall basement and meet up with the even scarier character of Scabbie. He takes their money and goes to his ""secret stash"" of Quasis. When the boys realize that he didn't get their shoes sizes, they quickly determine he's not coming back. Meanw

Ren is having a ""young women's all-night forum""--better known as a slumber party--and she wants everyone to clear out of the house on Saturday night. All the family members agree, including Louis, who says he'll be sleeping over at Twitty's. But he's got a plan--to put hidden cameras in the house and broadcast the evening as ""The Secret World of Girls,"" charging $10 a head to his fellow male students to watch. There's been a young kid spying on Louis and Twitty. They catch him and demand to know what he wants. It turns out the youngster is new in town and is just looking for someone to hang out with. The boys are on the verge of turning him away, but Louis likes his nerve, and nicknames him ""Beans."" After Louis and Twitty wire up the house, Beans distributes flyers promoting the big pay-per-view evening to be held in the Stevens basement. Plenty of guys show up for the broadcast, but it's not very long until the girls all go upstairs, where there is no camera! Louis is faced with an an

Ren is all set to watch her favorite newscaster and role model, Cynthia Mills, but she's bothered by Louis and Twitty, who are big fans of the station's clownish weatherman, Zippy Winds. Ren mentions that she is entering a newscasting contest for students with a prize that includes meeting Ms. Mills. This excites the boys, who see it as a chance to meet their idol Zippy. But when Ren interviews Tawny the next day at school for an audition tape, Louis is sure that her subject will be too dull to win. He uses the annoying neighbor Beans as part of his plan for a more exciting entry. Using a earpiece, the guys feed Beans information that makes him look like an incredible genius. Ren hears him spouting off all his ""knowledge"" and decides to use him in her audition tape. Meanwhile, Donnie secretly watches a videotape called Look Smart, Be Smart."" It gives him all sorts of superficial advice to make him appear more intelligent. He tries out his new image on Ren and his parents, but they just

Louis and Twitty are having a good time making prank phone calls, including one to Ren, claiming to be Bobby Deaver. When she finds out about their deception, she blasts them with a super-soaker! At school, Ren meets her old neighbor Nelson, who is a real hypochondriac with allergies to everything. At lunch he embarrasses her with all his symptoms. Then when she gets home, she's not happy to hear that her parents have made plans to go out to dinner with her and Nelson and his parents. Louis and Twitty are back on the phone again, this time calling up Tawny's house claiming to be the "$1 Million Trivia Challenge" from a radio station. Tawny puts her dad, Dr. Dean, on the line and he answers the questions. Louis tells them they've won a million dollars and Tawny and her father jump up and down celebrating. Bobby Deaver calls Ren. She thinks it's a another prank at first, but she recovers in time for Bobby to ask her out ice skating. But the date is the same day as the dinner with Nelson's family.

The Lawrence Jr. High baseball team is blowing a big lead and is about to lose the game. Things get so bad Coach Tugnut puts in Twitty, who hasn't pitched all year. Surprisingly, he strikes out the rest of the side and saves the day. At school the next day, Twitty is congratulated by everyone, but Louis talks about him being the star player every one depends on so much that it begins to make him nervous. Now with his confidence shaken, Twitty pitches terribly in the next game while Artie Ryan broadcasts to everyone how he blew it. After the game, Twitty blames Louis and all his talk for his pitching problems. Twiity is sitting at home depressed when Tawny and Louis come over to help snap him out of it. Tawny suggests ""behavior modification,"" giving Twitty a reward for having good thoughts and giving him a whiff of Louis' old socks for bad ones! It doesn't work, so Tawny asks Louis to bring his brother Donnie over to help. Donnie tells about when he had similar problems and says a trip

Donnie is coaching his terrible little league basketball team the Dingoes while Louis is hanging around the gym after his usual detention. When Donnie takes a break, Louis has the kids run a drill, and they actually look pretty good doing it. The kids ask if Louis can be their assistant coach and Donnie agrees to it. In their next game, the winless Dingoes have improved so much that they actually have a chance to win with a few seconds left. Donnie's final play is too complicated for the team to understand, but Louis has one up his sleeve. When play stars, one of the boys gets down on all fours and starts barking like a dog. While the other team is distracted, Tiffany scores the winning basket for the Dingoes! They carry Louis off the floor in triumph. Meanwhile Ren has a couple of encounters with Bobby where it seems like they are on the verge of kissing, but every time the romantic moment arrives, he backs off and gives her a high-five instead! Ren talks to her mom about this and Eil

Ren and Bobby are at the Stevens house doing homework. They are about to kiss when her dad comes in and interrupts them. Steve Stevens seems determined not to leave the couple alone. He has some ""good"" news--he's giving a guest lecture on birds in Ms. Lovelson's Life Science class. The next day at school Ruby tells Ren that Mandy ""Always Gets Her Man"" Sanchez has a crush on Bobby. After giving a thoroughly embarrassing presentation, Mr. Stevens invite the students along for a birdwatching trip to Devil Mountain. Bobby volunteers to go, followed quickly by Mandy and Ren, plus Ruby and Nelson. Meanwhile Louis and Twitty are enjoying the delicious pizza that Tom makes in his pizza oven. But when a heating coil breaks, the pair quickly leaves. The next day at school Louis is telling a joke to a crowd when Tom arrives and spoils the punch line. When Louis and Twitty berate him, Tom says his oven may never get fixed. Later the boys walk by Tom's house and find that he's making pizza, but non

State Sen. Eileen Stevens is running for secretary of state, and she hires a political consultant to help with the campaign. He sits the family down to have a serious talk about image when Louis comes bursting in the room, with vegetables growing in his hair for a science project! The consultant is appalled by Louis. Eileen plans to announce her candidacy on a news broadcast, and the consultant dresses Louis in a suit with short pants for the event. Louis flies into a rage over wearing the outfit, and it's all caught on tape by reporter Cynthia Mills. Soon the tape of Louis having a fit is being shown on every channel and Cynthia had dubbed him ""the wild child."" At school Larry Beale takes delight in needling Ren about her brother's actions. Nelson comes to her defense and gets stuffed in a locker. Later he goes to Donnie for some self-defense instruction. Donnie makes up a martial art using the pinky fingers called ""ta-ting"" which is totally phony but which gives Nelson confidence. Ei

Louis arrives late in class to find a huge new transfer student named Lenny sitting in his seat. Louis is scared of the big guy but loans him a pencil when he needs one. The class watches the ""Wombat Report"" featuring Ren's expose on dodge ball. She has film of Coach Tugnut and his sadistic practices plus a medical report from Nelson about the injury risks. Lenny follows a nervous Louis to the cafeteria, but he's not going to hurt him; rather, he's grateful that Louis was nice to him. Louis asks Lenny to have lunch with him and Twitty, then he boldly goes and sits at the 8th grade table. Normally this would get the 7th graders a pounding, but with Lenny by their side, Louis and Twitty are soon able to order guys like Larry Beale around like they were little kids. Meanwhile Ren meets with an angry Coach Tugnut. There is going to be a referendum on whether or not to keep dodge ball and the Coach promises to fight Ren all the way, enlisting Larry to campaign for him. Louis and Twitty are

It was a dark and stormy night... just before Halloween as Ren sits and watches a horror movie alone. She gets a terrifying ""I know you're home alone"" call from someone, but it turns out to be Louis, dressed in his penguin jockey outfit. At school the next day, Ren is the only person not dressed in a Halloween costume. Instead, she is encouraging all the students to get eye examinations, which are being given by Principal Wexler and Coach Tunut, who are looking and acting suspiciously like Dr. Frankenstein and Igor. Meanwhile, Louis has plans for the greatest Halloween prank ever, eyeballs in the turkey gravy. But by lunchtime, his cohorts Tom, Tawny and Twitty have flaked on him. They've all taken the eye exam and are now drinking milk and talking and acting responsibly, like Ren. In fact, everyone now is looking and acting the same way. When they take their dark glasses off--they're missing their eyeballs! Louis runs down the hall in terror trying to escape, surrounded by zombie-like

Ren and Monique are organizing a Sadie Hawkins Day dance, but due to all the hard work and a recent breakup with Bobby Deaver, Ren may be dateless for the dance. Meanwhile Twitty is swamped with invitations from girls while Louis and Tom, not surprisingly, can't get themselves arrested. Twitty assures Louis that Tawny will ask him to the dance, and she appears to be on the verge of doing so, but when Louis brags about the number of girls after him, Tawny declines to ask Louis out. Ren asks several boys to the dance, but the fact that she's babysitting a live pig cramps her style and she gets nowhere. Louis and Tom both try the ""bad boy"" approach to attract dates, but it only works for Tom. Finally, at the last second, Louis begs Monique to ask him out, and she agrees. At the dance Tawny arrives with a popular boy, Tad. She and Louis eye each other all evening, each trying to impress the other. Ren admits to her pig, now named Timmy, that since her breakup with Bobby she really hasn't w

Ren and Louis are fighting tooth-and-nail as usual when Donnie shows them a tape of a TV show, ""Sibling Sessions,"" and suggests they appear on it to help them solve their differences. Ren agrees and so does Louis once he learns that he'll get free tickets to Magic Mountain. At school, Ren gets a little worried when she sees that Bobby's new lab partner is the dreaded Mandy ""Always Gets Her Man"" Sanchez. She asks Bobby if there is anything for her to worry about and he tells her no. When Louis and Ren show up for the TV show audition they find that the host, David Blackburn, wants to put them on the air right away. But the show has changed from the serious ""Sibling Sessions"" to the sleazy, cheesy game show ""Sib Wars!"" Louis and Ren battle each other on day one of the filming and are supposed to return the next day for the final ""humiliation round."" Louis and Twitty film Mandy kissing Bobby in the hall at school for use on the TV show. But when he appears on the show, Louis won't use the

Ren gets on the cheerleading squad (it'll look good on her record), but head cheerleader Monique tells he that she needs to work on being more perky and peppy. Meanwhile Louis takes one look at Ms. Morgan, the cheerleaders' new faculty advisor, and falls head over heels in love with the beautiful woman. When Ren messes up a routine and a pyramid of girls falls on the team mascot, a new mascot is needed to replace the injured one. Louis jumps at the chance, solely so he can be near Ms. Morgan. Tawny is shocked at what Louis is doing, but he's serious enough to go to a mascot boot camp, where he impresses the crusty instructor so much that he give Louis a jet pack that he himself used as a mascot long ago. Ren's attempts to be the peppy, perky, perfect cheerleader, and soon she is leading cheers even when she's answering algebra questions! Steve and Eileen Stevens are beginning to worry about their daughter's new obsession. Meanwhile Tawny is hurt by the way Louis has been ignoring her.

Dad's bought a new car, but he disappoints the family by buying a boring minivan. But who should come rolling up in a monster 4-wheel drive truck but Chuck Stevens, Steve's brother and the favorite uncle of Louis. Dad isn't too thrilled about his brother's visit because he's an immature ne'er-do-well with lots of half-baked get-rich-quick schemes that never work out, and also a bad influence on Louis. When his parents stop Louis from pulling a prank on Larry Beale at school, Uncle Chuck encourages him to do it anyway. While Louis is washing the van, Chuck tells him to forget about it and come to the mall with him. The guys leave the hose running and fill the van with water. Louis tries to takes all the blame on himself. Louis is grounded, but Uncle Chuck sneaks him out at night and takes him and Twitty to Larry's house to TP (toilet paper) the yard. When Larry and his ferocious dad Colonel Beale come after them, Uncle Chuck takes off in the truck, abandoning the boys. Luckily Steve Ste

Louis and Twitty are playing a game of stinky sockball. Tom is there, too, but he doesn't care to join in. He is excited, though, when Mr. Stevens brings home a carve-your-own-leprechaun kit. Louis suggest his dad start without him and use Tom to help instead. Soon, though, Louis is surprised and dismayed when Tom gets on a first-name basis with his dad and begins spending more and more time with him. Louis confesses to Tawny that he fears Tom is taking the role of his dad's son away from him. Tawny suggests he find a shared interest with his dad. Steve Stevens is surprised one afternoon at the golf course when Louis shows up, ready to play. But Tom is already there too. The threesome plays, with Louis doing badly while Tom earns compliments from Steve. Louis finally makes a tough shot, but Steve and Tom aren't paying attention. Louis' frustration boils over and he tells Tom he can take his place as Steve's son. Both Tom and Mr. Stevens are stunned--they didn't realize Louis felt this

Ren is efficiently doing her job as student administrative assistant to Principal Wexler, while Louis is getting into trouble, as usual. When he whacks Mr. Wexler in the face with his locker door, the principal calls in Mr. and Mrs. Stevens. Steve and Eileen suggest to Wexler that instead of more punishment for Louis that he be given some responsibility like Ren has. Wexler agrees to do it, and gives Louis the job of hall monitor. When Twitty and Tawny hears of this, they think it's great, that their friend Louis will let them be late for class, etc. But things turn out differently when Tom, who takes his job as hall monitor very seriously, gets ahold of Louis. Tom takes the new recruit down to a basement for a secret, cult-like initiation ritual. From then on, Louis begins to take the job seriously too; so serious, in fact, that he busts Twitty and Tawny for violations! Principal Wexler is surprised that Louis is doing so well, and he agrees to Louis' idea of putting up surveillance c

Donnie is going to be inducted into the Lawrence Jr. High Wombat Hall of Fame and Louis is getting a little perturbed at his brother because of all the things he gets away with simply because he's an athletic star. His dad ignores his complaints, so Louis plans his own stunt to get even. At the Hall of Fame induction ceremony, a choked-up Coach Tugnut introduces Donnie and tells him that the Texas State University football coach Specs Richardson is on his way to Sacramento right now with plans to offer Donnie a full athletic scholarship. Donnie is set to demonstrate his title-winning gymnastics routine on the pommel horse. Louis has tampered with the horse, though, and when Donnie gets on, it bucks like a mechanical bull. Donnie is thrown high in the air and lands hard on the ground, as Louis and Twitty look on in shock.

Even though she's burning up with fever, Ren still wants to go to school so she can qualify for a perfect attendance award, but her mom Eileen won't let her. Louis tries to fake illness to avoid Coach Tugnut's fitness test, but his dad Steve is not fooled. Ren is in bed with Mr. Pookie watching a musical. A big puff of steam comes from the humidifier and... Ren is at school after all, but when she comes in the office she gets a big surprise--Principal Wexler is singing the ""Morning Announcements,"" complete with a troupe of dancing students! She sees Louis, Twitty and Tawny in the hall. Louis is still looking to get out of gym class, and he and his friends start singing and dancing to the song ""I Always Find a Way."" Ren meets Ruby and Nelson for lunch. They remind her that her science presentation is due today in 6th period. Ren has forgotten all about it and isn't prepared. But Larry Beale is--and he intends to win the science medal with his presentation. While Ren stumbles around tryi

Ruby and Monique are reluctant to sign up for the mother-daughter bowling night that Ren is organizing; they're afraid their moms will embarrass them. However it turns out those girls have fun with their mothers while it's Ren who is embarrassed by her mother Eileen's awful bowling. Ren is glad that the one-time bowling night is over, but Mom brings home a surprise: she had so much fun that she enrolled herself and Ren in a mother-daughter league. Meanwhile, Louis has used the $500 he won in a radio station's stinky feet contest to hire a butler, Chives. His servant waits on him hand and foot, at home and at school, even serving detention for Louis. Beans is hanging out at the Stevens house, being his usual annoying self and Louis orders Chives to toss him out. Ren comes to see Louis to tell her about her problem with their mom and the way she's embarrassing her, but Louis has her thrown out of his room too. Although, Chives the butler steps out of her servant's role and scolds Louis for turning away his sister when she needed his help. At the bowling alley Ren tries to get her mom to take the bowling seriously but Eileen is as bad as ever and still having fun. Louis and Chives put on maintenance uniforms so they can sneak in behind the pins and replace Eileen's ball with a magnetic one, plus they put a metallic bowling pin in as well. The result is strike after strike for Eileen. Louis and Chives are found out and are chased around the bowling alley. Ren tells her mom that she was embarrassed by her terrible bowling but she was also puzzled that her mother wasn't concerned about how bad she was. Eileen says that she just looked at it as a fun way to relax from more important things, like her job. At home, Chives returns with the bad check that Louis gave him. To pay him back, Louis must now wait hand and foot on Chives and Beans too, as Louis serves up some bacon for the pair.