On a ""ditch day"" at school, Tiffany competes with Sable for Moondoggie, a surfer. Jennie doesn't want to be home when the maide comes, so she asks sick Jack to take her to the beach.

When Tiffany starts taking fake prom pictures with nerds and leaving sexy messages on their answering machines for the money, it blows her Princeton scholarship.

After Jennie makes Jack go talk to Morgana, Sable's mother, Morgana tries to seduce Jack. Meanwhile, Ryan becomes Sable's boyfriend, but it seems more like he's her slave.

After getting zapped by lightning, Ryan is convinced that he is a super hero named Lightning Boy.

Jack becomes lonely when Jennie gets Tiffany addicted to bingo.

The Mad Hair Hacker goes after Tiffany, Sable, and Amber, a friend of Tiffany's, to chop their long hair. Meanwhile, Jack and Jennie look forward to terrorizing the neighborhood kids and giving them candy cigarettes on Halloween.

Ryan gets angry when Tiffany changes his band and they become a success. Meanwhile, Mr. Floppy starts going in the washer to get into alternate worlds.

When Sable starts playing a sport for her scholarship, Tiffany joins the volleyball team.

When the family goes to The House of Hollywood restaurant, Jennie expects to see stars, but only sees Erik Estrada, who she doesn't recognize.

Jack and Jennie think Ryan is on drugs when they finds globs and globs of his sweat in the car.

When Tiffany decides she wants to do something bad, she steals some lipstick and becomes a rebel.

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After Tiffany nominates Ryan for school president, he makes rules that benefit himself. Jack and Jeane have to do Ryan's homework so that he can maintain a C average.

Jack can't stand it when Tiffany begins dating Johnny Stompanado, a biker. Jennie remembers her biker boyfriend.

Ryan, Tiffany, and their friends protest against the school's disgusting mashed potatoes. Meanwhile, Jack suffers from insomnia.

Tiffany gets a B- on her essay because she doesn't agree with Mr. Monteleone's, her teacher's, opinion. Ryan repeats everything Mr. Monteleone tells him for his reports and does great. Meanwhile, Jack and Mr. Floppy decide to make a movie with naked women.

Ryan gets a mail order bride.

Tiffany must work at an ice cream parlor.

Tiffany's advice causes Ryan to get lots of women at his new job as a hairdresser. Jack worries that Ryan is gay because of his new job, but respects him when he sees the women Ryan is getting.

Jack goes to a loan shark for the $18,000 for Tiffany to go to Harvard. But Tiffany turns down the Harvard scholarship and decides to go to Northridge Junior College with Ryan when she meets Professor Alfred, a professor there. She soon finds Professor Alfred is going to teach at Harvard and Mr. Monteleone is taking his spot.

Ross makes the family become vegetarians so he can win an environmentalist award with a $10,000 check. But Tiffany won't give in.