The Pilot (Not the Pilot)

By chance, Hilton brings Erica's freshly baked chocolate chip cookies to the struggling flower shop for Ruth and Pauline to enjoy and, just as he's setting out the coffee, strangers approach and ask to buy the goodies. This gives Hilton an idea and, much to Ruth and Pauline's dismay, he invests in a super-deluxe, super-expensive espresso machine, forces Erica to wake-up in the middle of the night to bake cookies, and turns what was an ordinary florist shop into The Flower Cafe.

When Hilton realizes that Griffin and Erica's friends are taking over his house -- watching his television and eating all his food, he decides that if they live in his house, Griffin and Erica will have to live by his rules. Reluctantly, Griffin and Erica agree to abide by Hilton's strict new set of house rules, including Rule #5 -- thou shall not alloweth men upstairs. So when Erica's boyfriend, Julius (guest star Darryl M. Bell, reprising the role), shows up in her bedroom, Erica attempts to keep it a secret from her father. Meanwhile, Hilton is busy on a mission to kill a stray mouse -- although Julius mistakenly believes that he is the target of Hilton's assassination plans.

When Griffin's non-stop eating starts to get on Hilton's nerves, and Hilton's non-stop opinion-giving begins to get to Griffin, the two challenge each other to a 24-hour contest to see which man has more self-control. Meanwhile, Ruth, Erica and Pauline decide that if they have to put up with the men's nonsense, they are going to have a little fun at their expense. And fun they have as they make Griffin suffer watching them eat a three-course meal of his favorite foods and Hilton agonize as he watches Erica walk out the door -- for a Las Vegas weekend getaway with Julius!

Hilton is overjoyed when he meets new friends Chuck and Larry and joins their ""Older and Out"" team, since he's also older and he's ""out"" keeping busy. Ruth discovers that Chuck is gay, and she mistakenly believes that her husband of more than 30 years may have feelings for a man! Blaming herself for letting the spark go out of the marriage, Ruth sets off to win him back before a surprised Hilton discovers the real meaning of ""Older and Out.""

Pauline is absolutely thrilled that after years of being the single friend, she has finally become a couple with her new boyfriend, Gregory, a self-absorbed, self-proclaimed genius who disturbs Hilton. So when she decides to dump him because he's too uptight, Ruth thinks that Hilton is really the one to blame and sends him off to remedy the situation. But when Hilton, Griffin and Gregory team up at The Steinway Street Pub, they end up good buddies, and big, big winners too, in a trivia game.

A doctor places Hilton under strict quarantine after he catches the stomach flu. Griffin warns Hilton not to escape quarantine, but he doesn't listen and, one by one, everyone in the household drops, leaving Hilton to don his nurse's uniform. As he runs from sickbed to sickbed tending to his patients' needs, Hilton discovers that the members of his household are not at their best when they are sick - but he's determined to maintain his excellent bedside manner.

When Ruth's snobbish sister-in law Debra throws an engagement party for her daughter, Hilton and Ruth try to steal some of Debra's thunder. They arrange for Erica to bring a handsome date to the party, but they get some unexpected results. When the night of the big engagement party finally arrives, Erica discovers that the date she chose for Erica, Philip, has turned from the choir boy she knew into a funky rapper. Hilton is surprised to find that Arthur, his candidate, is now a bicycle repairman. But Debra is the most shocked of all when her picture perfect evening has a not-so-perfect ending. Meanwhile, Griffin makes some serious moves on his date, Tammy, a young woman trying to get over a broken heart.

Fasten your seat belts. When Griffin tries to back out of a lucrative out-of-state concert gig because of a flying phobia, Hilton vows that he will get Griffin on the plane - no matter what it takes. When the commercial airline is grounded, Hilton calls on an old airline buddy with a private plane, and they're joined by Jack, who volunteers to underwrite the flight. But thanks to Jack, the pilot passes out, and it's up to Hilton to bring the plane down -- safely.

Frank Barone has been telling his son about sinking the winning shot in the 1955 Queens hampionship since the day he was born. So when Frank pleads with Hilton to help him save face with his son by lying for him, Hilton reluctantly agrees. But then Gwendolyn Brooks High plans a ceremony honoring Frank - and he tells the school that Hilton can't come because he's dead - Hilton decides that enough is enough and goes forward to set the record straight.

Ruth surprises Hilton when she enrolls him in tap dancing classes as a birthday gift. He skips the classes, but tells Ruth that he is making remarkable progress. When Ruth announces that she is going to attend the dance recital, Hilton must take a crash course in fancy footwork, or risk having his deception exposed. The coffee shop hosts it's first poetry night.

Hilton and Griffin get jobs as telemarketers, hoping to win a fabulous office prize -- a weekend for two at The Plaza Hotel in Manhattan. Hilton is afraid to tell his wife, knowing she will disapprove of his new job. Instead, he lies and claims that his new job is driving Danny Aiello's limo. Griffin tries to improve his sales record by taking Hilton's advice to create a new persona -- he pretends to be Hilton. So when Ruthie overhears ""Hilton Lucas"" on a sexy phone call, she thinks that her husband is having an affair and blames the whole thing on his new employer, Aiello.

Ruth must deal with a bunch of know-it-alls. Her husband Hilton ""knows"" that his community center boys' basketball team could beat her girls' team, and her star player Nikki ""knows"" that the game should be only about scoring the points. So when Ruth challenges Hilton to a boy/girl game, he has a lot to do to get his star players in shape, and Ruth must teach Nikki about teamwork. Hilton gets a lesson in what girls can do when WNBA ""New York Liberty"" team members Teresa Weatherspoon and Kym Hampton show-up at the gym for a clinic and run a couple of their finest plays.

When the city closes down the Flower Cafe because of a misplaced vent, Pauline suggests that she and Ruth indulge in a pampering weekend at a spa. Hilton's only assignment while she's gone is to get the vent fixed. Carla. the chaperone of a Brazilian girls' choir, asks to rent out the coffee shop for a small get-together, and Hilton hesitantly agrees. After all, Pauline and Ruth are out of town and what could possibly go wrong?

Despite Ruth's insistence that family and friends should never work together, Hilton goes to work for Griffin narrating children's stories. He just can't refuse the tempation for some creative rewriting, and Hilton puts his own spin on some classic kids' tales. Will he have his poetic license revoked? Meanwhile, Pauline is so captivated by the handsome young man temporarily working at the coffee shop that she can't bring herself to fire him.

Hilton is bequeathed a boat by a wealthy man he once helped at the airport. Despite Ruth's insistence that he doesn't have the stamina or the money to support a boating hobby, Hilton persists -- including spending three days on the boat with Griffin, parked outside the house in the freezing cold.

When Hilton is working at the coffee house, he meets two people from the ""David Letterman Show"". He talks them in to letting him be on a show.

A plate that Hilton made as a gift for Ruth has been switched for one made by a famous abstract artist. It's worth some $15,000, and now, thanks to Pauline, it's missing.

Pauline tries her hand at playwriting for a course she's taking at the community center. Following Hilton's advice about writing about something ""real,"" she turns out a thinly-disguised comedy about the Lucas family. Hilton is the only one who can't see who the lead character is based on - until he volunteers to play the part on stage. Broadway veteran Philip Bosco is Pauline's flamboyant playwriting teacher, who casts Hilton in her comedy as a sarcastic, irascible coot. Talk about typecasting....

It's April 15 and Hilton hasn't even started working on his taxes, a fact he wants to make sure Ruth doesn't discover. Ruth has other things on her mind, however -- she and Pauline have an appointment with Mr. Rollins of the SBA to obtain another loan for the Flower Café. At the Café, Erica has agreed to look after Jurnee, her friend's younger sister. A desperate Hilton arrives and asks Erica for help with his taxes, but she reminds him she's a lawyer, not an accountant. Meanwhile, Mr. Rollins, very negative and skeptical, says he needs to see Ruth's and Pauline's personal tax returns before they can proceed. Ruth calls Hilton for their tax information, and he promises to get everything to her in an hour. Erica sends Jurnee over to the house to watch TV, where it shortly becomes clear that the little girl knows more about doing taxes (her dad's an accountant) than Hilton. She gets the taxes wrapped up and over to Ruth, Pauline and Mr. Rollins, and Hilton is saved.

Erica and her girlfriends, unable to find ""Mr. Right,"" take Ruth's advise about changing their dating habits and set out on ""The Great American Manhunt."" As the girls despair about their single state, Ruth tries to explain that men are like old cars - you've just got to find one that works, and if you take care of it long enough, eventually it'll be worth something! Taking her advice, the ladies set out in search of the guy least likely to turn into a lemon!

When Ruth and Hilton have a major fight they assess the changes in their lives.

The Lucases play cupid for smitten Griffin

Ruth is President of the Businessmen's Roundtable, and Hilton the Ladies auxiliary.