Season 3 • Episode 2
The Red Guy is depressed because no one will play with him. After seeing Cow has Crabs the Warthog, he wants to play with her because he has Crabs's doll house. When he askes to play with Cow, she tells him not if he was the last man on earth. With that he locks the entire world in a trailer, and is the last man standing: but Cow still won't play with him.
Cow has a crush on Crag, the smartest kid in school, but is ignored by him. Her friends try to convince her that her horns are too small, so she tries every way to make them bigger by decorating them with coat hangers, paper masche, and even chocolate chip weenies. Cow later learns that Crag wasn't interest in Cow, because he had a crush on one of her friends.
Weasel creates a time machine that I.R. uses to go back in time, but Weasel discovers that I.R. is destined to solve all kind of problems at certain periods.
While driving in the snow, Mom and Dad find The Red Guy who says he's heading ""home""; so Mom and Dad take him home with him, and immediately think of him has their new favorite son. Cow and Chicken work together to try to prove The Red Guy's a fraud.
Mom and Dad go out of town, leaving Cow as the babysitter, because she's the biggest, and not the oldest. Pretty soon, Chicken is at the mercy of his sister's babysitting technique: eating marshmallow soup for supper, doing homework with Crabs the Warthog doll, Piles the Beaver doll, and Manure the Bear doll, taking a bath and being scrubbed with dishsoap, and wearing diapers.
Weasel comes to investigate the world's largest hole, same hole I.R. tries to fill with cement.
Cow is depressed because she has no friends: until she finds a fly in her room and befriends it. Pretty soon she and the fly are inseperable: until Chicken, Mom and Dad call in the fly exterminator.
Cow stays outside too late, and pretty soon finds herself lost in the woods, and tries to survive. She pretty soon comes to the conclusion that it's eat, or be eaten, so she puts on war paint, and finds a squirrel in a bush, she quickly eats. It turns out she was in the backyard all the time, and her imagination got the better of her.
Weasel and I.R. are sent to a correctional institute were everyone is forced to wear stupid corrective devices.
After Earl gets the new Sergeant Weenie Arms action figure, he, Flem and Chicken go to Dead Skull Cave to meet the soldier himself, and become full-fledge weenie marines. After they do so, they learn that weenie marines are sissies.
Cow and Chicken get an unexpected visit from Cow's twin cousin, Sow (a pig with 8 teets). After Sow's first day at school, she causes chaos, and puts the blame on Cow. It's up to Cow to pull the plug on Sow's evil ways.
Weasel is the captain of his own comercial plane, and must take a bunch of people up a river with I.R. as his co-pilot.
Cow brings home an ""invisible"" dog, whom she dubs, Kevin. Pretty soon, she and Kevin are inseperable, but causes trouble with school and friends. After she enters Kevin in a dog show, and wins, Kevin ""runs away"". Afterwards, Cow finds Kevin, befriended an ""invisible"" homeless man.
Cow tags along with Chicken, Flem, and Earl on their camping trip in the tree fort. Cow says that if Chicken, Flem, or Earl touch her dream catcher that they'll die. Chicken accidentally breaks her dream catcher, and soon, he, Flem and Earl are at the mercy of Cow's worst nightmare: The Milkman.
Weasel and I.R. end up stranded on an island made entirely of confectionaries.
Grandma pays at visit to Cow and Chicken's house to take them to the mall with her. Her purpose for being at the mall: to look for a new grandpa, because she lost the old one. Chicken gives her the slip while he, Flem and Earl hang out at the concession stands.
Chicken refuses to take bath, so he just sits there in the empty tub, while Cow, Mom, and Dad try to make him take a bath so they can use the toilet.
I.R. is captain of his own ship, until it bumps an iceberg and it starts sinking.
Cow and Chicken are taking a trip all by themselves. Their taking an airplane. Once Chicken sees the actual plain, he starts to have anxiety attacks and believes that flying is a dangerous way to travel.
P.E. Chicken, Flem, and Earl are finally 6th graders, and are ready for their first day at junior high. Once in their gym class they find it difficult to put up with a strict P.E. teacher, and bully twins.
Weasel and Baboon are a pair of friendly vampires who drink only canned blood and are just looking for a fun little night on the town in Pantsylvania. But someone should try telling that to the vampire hunter Dr. von Smellstein, who's out to get our heroes!
Cow and Chicken have a big test the next day at school but when Chicken forgets to study, he tries to fake all kinds of illnesses to avoid going to school. After holding his thermometer over the grill, Mom and Dad call the doctor who makes housecalls: The Red Guy.
Chicken is upset because he can't whistle, and everybody else can. The Red Guy tries to tutor Chicken, but he finds out that Chicken can't whistle because he has no lips. The Red Guy then immedietaly sends Chicken to surgery.
I.R. is jealous of his neighbor Weasel because he has a better wife, kids job and house than him.
Cow wonders about the day she was born. Chicken tells her she was adopted, Mom tells her that the stork delivered her, Dad said they found her in a cabbage, Teacher says she hatched from an egg, and Red Guy says he delivered her.
Red Guy is CEO of a giant factory. He holds a birthday party for himself in the confrence room later that night, but none of the employees show up. But it doesn't matter, he has enough fun by himself.
Chicken puts prices on himself and Cow at the store and Red purchases them but is unable to determine their usefulness.
Cow doesn't wish to come in, but rather stay out all night to stare at the moon. So she builds a make-shift rocket ship out of cardboard boxes, a trashcan, and traffic cone. It ACTUALLY works, and finds herself on the planet Mud, where she brings space alien (Red Guy) back to earth where he says the solution to all problems is: puppets.
Chicken is fed up with Cow's constant babbling, and wishes for her to shut up. Cow then gives Chicken the silent treatment. Chicken soon regrets when Cow doesn't tell him about an oncoming truck, and not representing him in court.
Flem and Earl find themselves lost in the middle of an ocean near the equator. They fear their lives are short, and begin reminiscing about their fun lives.
I.R. is getting married with a hyena, but it happens that she ran away with a German, hairless chihuahua.
Dad decides that the family needs a pet...so he buys a spayed male jackel named Ed. He and Mom go out to celebrate, leaving Cow and Chicken alone with a living terrorist pet. Cow and Chicken then consult ""How to Care for Your First Jackel"" to try to tame Ed.
Cow bakes her own pie and wants Chicken to try it...but he doesn't want to. Cow then follows Chicken everywhere until she takes drastic measures...hiding all of the food in the house, only leaving the pie. Chicken gives in, and discovers the pie is actually good. Little does he know...it's really poop.
Mom and Dad are disgusted that Cow and Chicken believe the world is round, so they hire Dad's brother, Longhorn Steer (who really is a steer) to tudor Cow and Chicken. Longhorn fails, but Cow and Chicken learn that he doesn't want to teach...we wants to be a normal steer, get married, have kids, hold a job, and stampede.
Chicken's dream is to be a world famous figure skater, so he and Earl enter a figure skating contest. Red Guy is jealous because his partner is Flem, so, he injures Earl, making Chicken helpless out on the rink...until Cow comes to save Chicken's dream.
Weasel tells his story to psiquiatrist Sigmund Fraud about his mishaps with I.R., at the same time I.R. is telling his own mishaps with Weasel in the room next door.